Most Days
by luellableu
Summary: Mr. Gold has learned a trick to helping him sleep - here's why and how he learned it. Flat out Rumbelle smut. Also very AU


_My first fan fic! I'm working on a longer-less smutty one but had to get this off my chest (pun intended) Hope you all like it please review!_

_songs mentioned are: The Doors "Hello, I love you" Johnny Cash "25 minutes to go" and Tonic "If you could only see"_

* * *

Most days he could press the thoughts out of his mind for the day, going about his business as the town tyrant, and was even able to take small pleasure once in a while at a business deal. It was really when he got home that it became tough, especially when sleep consumed him and he was forced to retire to bed. That's when the dreams started. If he was lucky it would be a mostly nice dream.

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Something along the lines of her bullheadedness getting the best of her and storming back in after their explosive fight. It would be a few days after he had dismissed her so the full depth of losing her would have settled in. He'd be sitting at his wheel trying to forget even more now. She would storm in all huffy, yelling and ready for a fight. But it was no use, he couldn't deny her. Not only did he love her but she was right, and while he loathed being wrong it hurt less being wrong to Belle, his lovely Belle.

He would take her in his arms and in some impish Rumplestilskin way admit his folly and love for her. Then she would suppose she could forgive him (this being the part where he realized it was a dream, because in reality how could she ever forgive him?) while he would, now levelheadedly, explain he cannot afford to lose his powers he would promise anything else to her, _anything_. While a wry look would cross her face, her hands, already around his neck, would trail down to lay flat on against chest.

"Anything?" she would question, but certainty in her voice. He would lean down slightly to whisper in her ear.

"Anything you can dream up" he would entice the deal, though this was not an actual deal, not like the work he did outside this castle. No, he needed to be certain this was her free will. Then somehow he realized they were in his bedroom. Another nod to the fact that this was a dream, lapses of time going unnoticed or travel without actually moving much. But he ignored it, vowing to enjoy what little pleasure he could. They were standing near the bed and she was slowly unbuttoning his vest while kissing his neck lightly. His hands at her waist, but they couldn't stay there, they began untying her bodice. Pushing his vest off slowly it slid down his arms and he tossed it to the side then reciprocated the same action to her sky blue garment. It was unfair really; with one swift movement she was completely bare while he was still relatively clothed. She slid backwards onto the bed, her best come-hither look on her face but her innocence was obvious, endearing but obvious. He shed his shirt and climbed the bed moving over top of her she laid her head back.

"Belle, I need you more than anything, but I also want you to stop me if…" his words trailed as she brought her fingers to his lips.

"So easily you forget that I love you and you are not a monster" she pulled him toward her to which he responded by kissing her neck, feeling her pulse race below his lips. He continued down between her breasts and to her stomach. Kissing her hips he could hear her light moans and became completely hard before continuing down to her center. As he fiddled with her with his tongue tasting her and reveling in her wetness he was getting harder and harder, pulsing for her.

"Oh please Rum, please…" she trailed off. He rose up to meet her, own her and at the same time be owned by her. But here is where, sometimes, the dream world betrayed him. He was met with an extravagantly clothed Evil Queen cackling at him.

"Nice try Rumple, you're absolutely daft! I told you, she's dead" she would say flatly. As he lunges for her throat he wakes with a start. He lay awake, sweating profusely. It was getting a little ridiculous, but he fell for it every time. He learned to cope by falling asleep to music most nights.

When they had first come through he discovered that music seemed to be extremely important here. But try as he might he could only listen to classical; no words. He remembered one night in particular listening to a rock in roll station while trying to get back to sleep, almost there.

"_So you think you'll be the guy, to make the queen of the angels sigh?"_

These intoxicating words spiraling him into a fantasy of Belle trying to deny her love of him that day in the dungeon room and all the things he would do in said room to prove her otherwise. His favorite involving the shackles that were there and how good she would look stacked on his cock up against the wall. When the song changed to something from about 25 minutes to a death sentence he was taken from his thought.

Too dangerous. No more rock and roll.

He tried more modern music, but only lasted one night. He did not much care for it from the start and after giving it a real try decided he couldn't take that either...

"_If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says; When she says she loves me"_

A new one this time, while wafting in and out of sleep. She had packed a picnic and insisted that he come with her. When was this? Before or after the incident? Never mind the details, all he wanted to concentrate on was Belle. She pointed to something in the distance and he leaned in next to her to see what it was. He could smell her aroma, an innate smell of spring and something thick and sweet. He closed his eyes to capture as much of the smell as possible. She went to lean back and placed a hand accidentally on his, but after feeling the electricity between them pulled away. Ahh, so this was before. He reached and caressed her cheek, causing a warm smile and for her to blush. She reached a hand up over his, and then he reached further to the back of her head to pull into him. A mixed look of confusion, happiness and willingness washing over her face as he kissed her cheek. In response she kissed his neck and then collar bone. His head tilted back and a moan came from him. She climbed over him further and he laid down pressing herself on him. With his hands on her rump he was inching her skirt up. By the time he finally had her skirt hiked up he was so hard he could barely stand it. He trailed up her inner thy slowly, enjoying her ragged breath near his ear. Like always he could not bring himself to proceed without an explicit okay from her, dream or not, beast or not, he upheld that line of morals.

"Belle," nuzzling her cheek with his, "what should I do?" he asked with no question in his voice.

"Take me," she exclaimed with urgency in her voice and a nibble on his ear. Oh God how he wished this could be real. He plunged into her, getting her wet easily. After just a few moments he rolled them over so he was on top, he wanted to stare into the deep blue expanse of her eyes while he ravaged her. But this dress had to go – no matter, a quick flick of his wrist and it was gone revealing her thin slip underneath. With a light gasp she looked up at him, but quickly began giggling.

"Well," she said toward his clothes and without thought to it his were gone. Now he was the one to gasp and go wide eyed. Her eyes raked over him and he could see lust growing, he reached between them to play with her clit and watch her squirm with delight and moan slightly. She was so beautiful and so perfect below him. Pulling at him slightly he hears soft voice,

"Rum, I _need_ you" and how he needs her, her voice like velvet and full of wanting. He slowly plunges into her depths, and then the feeling of falling captures him.

Again he wakes with a start gasping for air. Cursing just about everything and anything he makes it to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face.

"You have got to stop doing this to yourself" he scolds the mirror. At least this one didn't involve Regina, those ones were too much for him. Pulling the sweaty tee shirt off and tumbling back into bed he swears off all music save classical. Yes, that will do, and he thanks whatever deities there is in this world that there is still some music out there without words. He drifts peacefully back into sleep. Concentrating on the tasks of tomorrow he manages the rest of the night without dreams.

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That is why he cannot afford to sleep in silence but cannot afford certain music either. And there are many more memories where those came from to prove it to himself if he ever needed. But he continues to try to maintain whatever sanity he can, because she is gone and there is nothing he can do.


End file.
